What Webcamming Has Taught Me About Men

Webcamming has given me an interesting perspective on men, what their desires are, what they secretly crave, and how they operate when they're not trying to preserve their face.

Men secretly crave female validation 

Men unfortunetly don't get enough attention or validation in their lives. Society places a huge amount of pressure on them and often does not celebrate or reward them. The only way men can really receive validation is through their accomplishments and their level of success. It's also hard for a lot of men to ask for their validation needs to be met because it is threatening to their man hood. Wanting to be validated is not negative. Everyone has validation needs, I think gender doesn't matter here. Validation helps us feel like we matter in the world, we are important to those in our lives, and sometimes it even reminds us that we exist. Women can better express when they need validation, and it helps that we aren't shamed for outwardly seeking validation or reasurance from our partners, friends, or family. But we are talking about men.

On a daily basis I get requests from men asking me:

• Can you rate my dick?

• Can you tell me if you would fuck me?

• Do you think I'm attractive?

• Give me a brutally honest rating?

• Would you date me?

• Are these good photos for a dating profile?

• Is my dick good enough?

requests like this seem wild, and at first glance and you might judge a man for asking these kinds of questions. I will admit, I use to judge men for this too. Because, in my mind, females seem to be objectified and picked apart for their appearance and their sexuality constantly. I would NEVER pay money to ask for a man's opinion on my appearance, my body, or what my "rating" is because I seem to get enough of that feedback for free just living my life. But that's when it hit me. We females have this burning spot light on us in society. From a young age we have the world ripping us to shreds based on our appearance. We are taught that our looks are a huge fraction of our identity, that our likability is based on how beautiful we are..... or aren't. Men on the other hand, seem to fade in the background, virtually ignored. Thus (and this is my theory, not based on research whatsoever), men need to find a way to ask the opposite sex how they scale in terms of their looks and sexual prowess. Thus, men turn to sex workers because it's an easy transaction. I also think it's important mention that I believe men want this validation from females because it provides social proof. It almost doesn't matter to men that they have to pay for answers to their questions. Men still seem to feel pleased with themselves that a conventionally attractive girl is giving them the honest truth even if its brutal. Only in rare cases have men been upset with me for giving them the honest truth (that they asked for).

At the end of the day I do answer their questions honestly even if it's not very nice. However, I usually remind them before the show ends that I'm a complete stranger. That I'm never going to actually fuck or date them, so why does my opinion matter anyways? I also try to give them some encourement and build their confidence up if they give me the time. On webcam, sometimes I see a man on his worst day and I geninely feel for him because no one should feel so down on themselves. I do have fun being a dom but I feel more rewarded when I can lift someone up on their worst day.

Men don't actually know much about sex

A lot of my job is providing sexual education. Men either think they know everything about sex or they come to my chat humbly admitting they are clueless. Either way, both types have room for learning and advice. I enjoy educating the men who come into my chat because I feel like I'm helping them become better lovers in their lives, explore their kinks, and boost their confidence.

First off, the men who think they know everything are so hilarious to me. Picture this: I'm in a show and a man is guiding me on how to touch myself as if he is doing it to me. He is making me work my figures in a variety of ways and he's so sure that hes got the female orgasm unlocked by this frantic routine. He tells me "this works everytime ;)". All the while I'm sitting there completely turned off...even by my own hand just acting my ass off for him. The deliousion on his side is just laughable because he's so sure it feels good for me, but will not ask me ONCE if I actually like what he's suggesting. This tells me, he's not the stud in bed that he thinks he is. In shows like this, there is not much room for education because clearly these guys got the female sexual response down. I get more situations like this online and they usually go like this:

• "I would fuck the shit out of you" - hahaha is that suppose to turn any girl on? 9 out of 10 times this is said by a 18-20 year old

• "I get pussy all the time I hardly need this service" - ok so that's why you're online in my chat right now sir

• "I would make you cum 3 times minimum" - riiiiiiiiiiiight sir

• "I'm the best at eating pussy" - no comment lol

• "No girl has ever faked an orgasm with me" - S T F U

All these are ego driven statements and these men come into my show because they want to feel like the man. I don't bother correcting or giving any sexual advice because they apparently don't need it. So I let them live in la la land, I let them feel like the man and run with my money.

On the other hand, there even more men who seek out honest sexual advice. They really have no idea how to talk to women, what do with us in bed or how to date us properly. Here are some questions I get:

• "I'm a virgin and I'm scared to have sex, how do I overcome my fear?"

• "Do girls really like anal?"

• "How do you know if you're good at eating a girl out?"

• "What do you like in bed?"

• "Do girls genuinely like to suck dick, or are they doing us a favor?"

• "Is jerking off too much bad for me?"

• "What should I say to get a girl to like me?"

• "How do I introduce new fetishes to my girlfriend?"

• "Should I finger her or eat her out first?"

• "Do girls prefer 7inches or more?"

• "How can I make her squirt?"

The list can go on and on...... and on. When men come to me seeking real advice I perk up and help. We all can respect someone who is humble enough to admit that they don't know something. Some of the questions may seem dumb, but I think it's meta to how poorly people are sexually educated. Porn is NOT the answer to your burning sexual questions. If anything, porn makes things even more confusing. Men look at the porn the way women look at supermodels. We forget that it's not real. There is an intense prep and process to creating a porn scene. Porn actors and actresses go on strict diets, or fast, they take laxatives to clear their systems, they take enhancement pills to stay hard for hours at a time, they use so. much. lube. Porn is meant to stimulate/shock you and keep you addicted. Real sex is meant to nurture you. It's a beautiful exchange of energy. It's the dance of life, the thing we were put on earth to do.

The adivce I always give on cam in regards to sex is:

Every girl is different. Take the time to figure out her body and don't be afraid to COMMUNICATE during sex.

So many men think it's mood killer to ask a girl if what they're doing feels good. THAT'S NONSENCE. Asking if something feels good is basically dirty talk and it's hot because you're taking an interest in her pleasure. Ask her where to touch her, how to touch her, and then just do it. It's as simple as that. Remeber if one trick works on one girl, then it only works on her. When you get a new partner you have to find a new trick. Communicating during sex is vital. If you can express you curioustiy and interst during sex she'll have a great time I can garuntee.

Also stop putting so much pressure on girls to cum for you. Girls are complex, it takes us awhile and could take multiple sessions with a partner. If we feel pressure or rushed we're just going to fake it. Again, sex is an experiencce and the actual cumming part is like 10% of the whole thing. Take it way slower and softer than you believe neccessary.

The advice I always give on cam in regards to dick size is:

YOUR DICK IS FINE STOP BEING SO INSECURE ABOUT A BODY PART YOU CANNOT CHANGE

What's more embarrassing than a small dick is a guy that is majorly insecure about his small dick. Men, do you want to hear a women go on and on about how insecure she is about her body. No???? Yea neither do we. Again, porn makes men think they need to have a 9 inch hog to be any good in bed. It's NOT TRUE. Need I remind men every day that the national average in America is 5 inches? It's truly is how you use it. Most girls aren't built like porn stars and can't take 9-10 inches worth of dick anyways. So work with what you got. If it's really that small just get good at eating pussy, use toys on her, or just become a cuck. Improvise, adapt, overcome!!

I love to give sexual education, there is more advice I could elborate on, but those above are my most popular questions. Please keep asking me questions. I just want everyone to have better sex because they deserve it!

Men desperately need emotional support but are too scared to ask for it in their real lives 

I jokingly call myself the "naked therapist", but I really do play one for certain customers. I love it and it's been a huge motivating reason why I am going back to school to get licensed in clinical therapy. I have provided emotional support to men who are thinking about transitioning from male to female, who are going through divorce/ breakups, who struggle with their sexuality, grieving men who have lost loved ones, those struggling with mental health issues, who are just lonley and need someone to talk with, or those who are considering taking their own life. I keep many secrets for them. They tell me things they would never dream of sharing with their families, girlfriends, wives, or friends. These customers feel a huge sense of pride and feel its difficult to share their emotional side in real life, so they use online sex workers as an outlet. Which in a way, I'm happy they use us as an outlet. Because who knows if they even have access to other resources. If providing only a little bit of emotional support can make a difference in someones night, week, month, or year I'm happy to do it. Life cannot exist without struggle and sometimes people need the comfort and anonymity of an online stranger. We all need someone to tell us that it's going to be ok.

Women really have more power then they think they do

Men think they are supirior to me when they give me money but actually it's the other way around. Here is a thought experiment I like to conduct to remind me that I always have the power. I like to think about the show I just performed, but I switch the gender roles. Think of this role reversal: I as the female just paid a man online to complete a sexual task for me (could be a cum show, a dom show, anything you can think of really). Everytime I think of that it feels so obsured and that's because it is. Women would never pay to watch a man jerk off, we would never pay to be verbally humilated by a stranger on a porn website, we would never pay for the initamcy of an online stranger. We don't have to. A strength us women have is pack building. We naturally have the ability to bring different communities of people together, to build strong relationships, we value the company of others, it gives us the validation we need. This quality makes us great friends, wives, sisters, girlfriends, ect. So great in-fact that some men have to pay to experience that strength (and here comes in the cam girls). We have the power to provide a luxury and valuable experience to men. We can manipulate, and separate men from their money. We are seductive and powerful creatures, and we let men think they have power.

Camming has taught me that I truly hold the power in my relationships with men, both online and off. All us ladies need to realize this, men need women. We provide certain feminine qualities that enhance their lives. We provide not only the unique and magical experience of sex, but great company, and emotional/nurturing support. Men will literally pay for our time and attention. They will spend money they worked hours of their lives to earn, just to have a conversation with us. Harness the power within you ladies and don't let these guys push you around. Men need women in their lives. You are already the thing he needs.

Thanks for reading!

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