What I Love About Webcamming

There is a reason I've been a webcam model for 6 years. I can assure you I'm not here because I can't do anything else in the job market. It's because I don't want to be doing anything else. I love my job, can you say the same?

The Sex Worker Community 

Sex working women are some of the most intelligent, entrepreneurial, goal orientated, hilarious, kind, and understanding people. I wish I would have emersed myself in the community sooner because of the support system we provide for each other. Unlike the corporate world, which is full of strategic courting, competitiveness, and underhanded behavior, the sex worker community has been able to thrive by acting as allies for each other. Because we share the experience of sex work we all understand how hard it can be. It's mentally challenging/ draining and physically we put our bodies through a lot. It also puts some strain on our relationships with our loved ones. Because we work online, we don't have conventional "co-workers" immediately around us, so we understand how isolating it can be. We all understand how difficult the clientele can be and how it can affect us mentally. Finally, because we are all our 'own boss' the community acts as an educational tool for each other, we are all learning as we go and sharing information. Even when I was working in a studio my experience interacting with the other ladies was very positive.

The deeper I get to know the community the more I feel inclined to share the amazing stories of these ladies. So many women in this industry have gone through so much adversity and live their lives sharing their talents with beauty, dignity, and grace. So many women have amazing aspirations and use sex work as a tool to achieve their goals. These women inspire me and I am happy to have some of them in my network.

The Interesting people you meet online 

Sex workers have an extremely diverse clientele. You really never know who you are going to get, but that's what makes the days interesting. We also build a deep tolerance and understanding for others because of the variety of people we interact with. I've met people from all around the world, in a variety of professions, who have shared their life experiences with me, showed me new ideas, cultural perspectives, and (of course) kinks I would have never discovered otherwise. By now I've probably come across millions of life stories. Even though sex workers are disregarded in society, my position allows me to feel connected to society in a very deep way, in what I believe to be its truest form - free from the mask we wear. I often say that I am interacting with "the underbelly of society" when I am online. It may seem as though that is a negative statement, and sometimes it's meant to be interpreted that way. But in more positive regard, I am seeing the underbelly of society. I am serving men who choose to be vulnerable and expose that underbelly they hide. When they seek my services they are choosing to show a side of themselves in which they conceal from the world. Regular men who want to share intimate details and secrets about themselves and their lives. I see the sides of men that their family, their friends, and their partners don't see. Sometimes it's very beautiful to see a man finally release years’ worth of emotion or explore a side of them they have been suppressing.

I have had clients share stories of what their lives are like living in the middle east suffering religious oppression. I have had clients share their experiences in the military and how it affected their mental health. I have had men working in high-level corporate positions give me financial, law, and business advice. I met men who have published successful books, run nightlife in NYC, school teachers, truck drivers, engineers, lawyers, college students, movie trailer editors, fathers, professional athletes, retired men, men with mental disabilities such as down syndrome, small business owners, and the list goes on and on. The point of me writing this list is to show that the johns who seek out sex workers are just average men, all around us. It doesn't matter who they are, or what they do. There is no "average" demographic and I like it that way. Because, again, you never know who you are going to get, and that’s the exciting part.

It Can be a Self Confidence Booster 

You should already have confidence and a strong sense of self BEFORE becoming a webcam model. You shouldn't rely on men online to provide you with self-esteem and worth. However, I do have to admit it’s nice to hear how beautiful and amazing you are all day from adoring fans. Being Stassie, being her, provides some escapism for me. In the real world, I get rejected, I'm a second thought, I get overlooked, mistreated, ignored... But when I'm Stassie I have men who look at me and think I'm the most beautiful thing they've ever seen. They spend money just for a sliver of my attention and time. I talk a lot about the negative things guys say to me on cam but here’s a taste of the good things (from my free chat and the comments left on my profile):

• "You are superior"

• "If you have a boyfriend he must be the luckiest guy on earth"

• "You're so hot, beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, beautiful, stunning, cute, pretty ect."

• "You have the perfect body"

• "Amazing super genuine and sexy af"

• "legend in the making"

• "Sex Goddess"

• "Best women! Hands down"

• "Worth every penny, and more"

• "Finest babe on the planet"

• "Baddest bitch"

• "BEST ON HERE NO MATTER WHAT YOU WANT TO DO SHE IS PHENOMENAL"

Who wouldn't want to hear positive affirmations like this every time you work? I grew up with ugly duckling syndrome. Growing up I never really got attention for being the most beautiful in the room. I was typically referred to as the "less pretty friend", and even in middle school people teased me for resembling a rat. When you grow up and are told that you're not pretty it sticks with you for a long time. I relied on my personality to stand out to the opposite sex and when my looks finally caught up I almost didn't notice. When I started webcamming it finally occurred to me, that yea, I am hot. I guess there always was a part of me who wanted to model in some way to overcome that ugly duckling syndrome I experienced in adolescence. So now that I am working in a model position it feels great that I'm getting paid, recognized, and noticed for the way I look.

What can I say? I like the attention. I don't care if it sounds narcissistic, I'm a human being, and honestly all of us like attention. Otherwise, why would clients pay me to give them some attention back? In real life I have issues with rejection, I sometimes feel like that middle school girl who isn't pretty enough. So when I'm online and I have men all over the world telling me how great I am AND giving me money for it, it feels good, and it's a perk of this job. This job provides fantasy and escapism not only for the clients but for me as well. I get to be the prettiest, funniest, smartest, sexiest girl in the room. I don't that it's driven by cave man-level horniess. I feel wanted, desired, and needed. It feels amazing.

I also feel my self-esteem is so strong because I am doing esteemable acts all night for my clients. I give positive attention to these men who have been ignored by their wives for weeks, who get stepped on at their jobs, I encourage them to explore their sexuality in a judgment-free environment, I build up their confidence towards themselves, their bodies, and the way they approach women, I allow men to confide in me and provide a safe place be emotional. I know I make a difference in some of these people's lives because so many of them have expressed genuine gratitude to me. It reminds me that I matter and that my position matters no matter what society says about sex work.

I Like Having an Unconventional/ Balanced Life 

I've always felt this internal ache that I am a very special person - I mythologize my life because I love myself and there is nothing wrong with that - Even when I was a child I knew that I didn't want to be like everyone else. Some of the most successful people in history held regards to themselves being special and different from most. Elon Musk, Charles Darwin, Leonardo da Vinci, just to name a few. The ordinary seemed easy, like a trap to me. I had this internal feeling that I didn't fit in the mold of ordinary. It use to bring me a lot of pain. I'm not comparing my contribution to the world with greats like Musk, Darwin, and da Vinci. But they are figures that inspire me to go against social norms. To use my special talents and contribute to society in my own way.

I am very proud of my unorthodox life. I am living a lifestyle that most people don't understand or are brave enough to experience. People are fascinated with the sex worker world and I am happy to be a part of a community that excites and mystifies others. I hold a title that always gets a reaction out of others. I think being a sex worker makes me a special person.

Being brave enough to be different has rewarded me greatly. I have complete creative control over my streaming show, my money, my persona, and my customers. I get to express myself every single night, I don't have to dote to a boss, I make all the decisions, I have created independence for myself, I am experiencing a world that others wouldn't have the balls to step into. When I think about my best 9-year-old day, I imagine playing with my mom's makeup, playing dress-up, playing music from my boom box, and making up dances in my room to show my family. I've essentially achieved my best 9-year-old day. Every night I stream I play with make-up, I dress up in crazy outfits, I listen to my favorite music all night, and I entertain people. Isn't that what life is about?

This unconventional life has also given me a balanced life. I've never experienced a greater work/ life balance until I started sex work full time. I am able to honor my mental health and take breaks. I am able to properly balance my school schedule with my work schedule. I am able to not only afford better vacations but take them whenever I damn well, please. I can see family every holiday if my little heart desires. With "normal" jobs I’ve had in the past I found that they didn't value my time or really my life. There was always an expectation to put my job before my family, before my mental health, before school etc. etc. Which is insanity looking back now since these were jobs I had in college so..... restaurants/ clubs. I had to spend two Thanksgiving alone because my boss didn't approve my time off, even when I turned it in a month in advance. I had to come to work countless times on my days off. The most memorable story was when I called off one day for being legitimately sick. My boss said he didn't care, had me come in anyways and he made me stand in front of a door that was blowing the cold winter air on me all night. I had a boss who tried to convince me to drop out of college in exchange for a "promotion" to cocktail serving. I had a boss who would withhold paychecks from me for days just because he didn't like me. And don't even get me started on the sexual harassment I've experienced at every.single."normal".job. I've ever had. If that is the standard of "normal"... I would rather be unconventional. Being "normal" brings its own misery. Yea you fit in, but at what cost? People can judge me and say what they want about my job but the truth is, I do it because it's made me significantly happier than I ever was working for someone else. I don't deal with office politics, I don't have to beg and grovel for deserved days off, I don't have anyone making payroll mistakes, I'm not giving up all my time for less money, or dealing with sexual harassment from superiors. I am the superior. I am brave in my position. Fuck being normal, I'll stay unconventional.

The Money 

Obviously, the money makes the gig worth it that's why I mentioned it last. There is nothing wrong with people who do this type of work just for the money, we are all simply human beings trying to make a living in a capitalist society. There are people out there that have been saved by the finical benefits that sex work provides. That being said I am one of them. I was able to finish my undergrad with no debt, pay completely for my study abroad trip, pull myself out of debt, now I'm paying for my master’s degree, I live in a beautiful apartment and can pay for everything MYSELF, I never have to check the price when buying things I need, I am able to invest in my future, I can splurge on myself and my loved ones, and I am free. Financial freedom is the ONLY freedom we have as people. For women, that's especially true. Most of us women have been conditioned to rely on our families, our boyfriends, or our husbands. Most of us ladies aren't encouraged to find a way to make it for ourselves in this world. Sex work provides the financial tools for women to live independently, fund their dreams, and take care of their loved ones. I like many other women in the industry have dreams outside of sex work. I am able to work towards those dreams and finically back myself. I am able to work part-time and earn a full-time salary while in school. I can't wait to see my dreams come to life and I'm so grateful that sex work has given me the finical security to fulfill those dreams. We sex workers deserve every penny that we work for. If what we did was easy, then everyone would do it.