Webcamming and Mental Health

This is for gals looking to become webcam models or for gals who are already models.

You are portraying someones fantasy while working online. It is imperative while streaming to maintain a positive demeanor. Think about your wildest fantasy, I'm sure it doesn't involve someone who is dismal or irate. The only way to maintain a happy aura on cam is to be genuinely happy. Like any job, if you're happy its makes all the difference. Thus, your mental health is a top priority.

Here is how to take care of yourself while in the online sex work industry:

You need to be self aware of your mental health needs BEFORE you become a cam model (or SW in general)

Sex work puts us ladies in an extremely vulnerable position. Even though we consent to the work there is still no denying the vulnerability that is attached to performing sexual acts, especially for men who view us as sexual objects. Your product as an online sex worker is your BODY, your TIME, your SEXUALITY, and your INTIMACY. You should take that very seriously. Before you can put a monteray value on those online you need to know the value of them from within yourself.

Some gals will enter this industry hoping it will provide them with more confidence and male validation. I'm here to say that webcamming will not magically give you the confidence you currently lack. If anything, it can destroy you completley. Online work is tough in general and you need to have thick skin to handle the mental demands it brings. You should know your value and have solid confidence from within before you ever think of becoming an online sex worker (or sex worker in general). The strangers you talk with online should NOT be the ones that you are seeking validation from. I promise at some point being called beautiful for the 6,000th time in a row will get old.

According to BMC Womens Health in a 2017 study titled "Burden and correlates of mental health diagnoses among sex workers in an urban setting", concluded that female sex workers experience disproportionate mental health burdens such as mood disorders, suicidal ideation, and post traumatic stress disorder. Which makes sense because as a sex worker you're dealing with the underbelly of society. You see things that are uncovential and sometimes extremely disturbing. Really analyze your psychological make up before entering this industry. The only way to be successful is to view your position as empowering.

Set boundaries at work 

You are the Queen of your chat room, nay the DICTATOR of your chatroom. Rule it with an iron fist. You do not owe every single customer everything single action they request of you. If you put pressure on yourself to fulfill every outlandish request then you'll end up hating the job. It's sex work, therefore there is no shortarge of strange and unusual requests. The best part about camming is that you are your own boss. Therefore, if you don't want to do something because it makes you uncomfortable then DON'T. Don't let these customers push you around, because as soon as they catch wind that you'll do just about anything for money they will take advantage of you right away.

To properly set boundaries write a description about things you do offer in your show and mention the things you don't and remain strong in those values, abosolutly NO negotiations. That way customers can read it and figure out if you're a good match for them. If they ask about a certain request you're not comfortble with in free chat tell them "No I'm sorry I don't offer that, but ..." and then offer an alternative. If they give you a hard time after that, just block them. I cannot tell you how long my block list is. Do not tolerate those who don't respect your boundaries, they are time wasters. Do not worry if your block list is 20 pages long, there are millions of dudes who have a credit card and boner who will not try to push your boundaries.

Setting boundaires also invovles how much time you spend streaming. Another benefit to online sex work is that you have control of your schedule. Some gals like to stream full time, some gals only part time, or even less. It's up to you, but you need to figure out what works for you. I can tell you from experience that overworking yourself, and spending too much time online can put a strain on your mental health. While streaming you play up a persona, and you are talking with customers who are sometimes extremely rude and sexually deviant. You need to give yourself time to reset, detact from that persona, and enjoy your real life off cam. Streaming can be consuming and addicting for both the model and the customer. So check in with yourself and see how you are feeling after a night of cam, and take breaks when you need to.

Remember your product on cam is your BODY, your TIME, your SEXUALITY, and your INTIMACY. To create a fantsy experience for a customer you have to have a durabel sense of self and know your value by setting proper boundaries. Always remember to perform the tasks you truly enjoy and feel comfortable with. This way you'll be happy streaming, the customers will be pleased, and you'll make that money because they'll keep coming back.

Be prepared to take on your customers mental health issues 

Sex workers do the labor of therapists sometimes and it can be a burden since we aren't properly trained. Most of the money I make online isn't even from sexual exchanges, it's intimacy and talking with customers. Men are reluctant to seek professional help for their mental health because of social norms. They commonly downplay symptoms, and hesitate to reach out for assistance. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, men are 3.54% more prone than women to die from suicide. Mental Health America reports 6 million men are affected by depression in the USA every year. Men die from more alcohol related causes compared to women, they are also more likely to misuse drugs more than women. Overal depression and suicide are ranked as leading causes of death among men, and they are less likely to seek mental health treatment compared to women. Based on this information, it's no surprise that men seek "help" through sex workers because it's a hidden community. I think men feel ashamed of receiving help so openly through services like therapy. So instead they seek help from a hidden community so there is less preceived consequences.

I'm not really sure why men seek out sex workers as a replacement of therapy, there isn't a ton of research on the subject yet. But here is my theory: men have a lot of pressure to be a strong care taker figure in their lives. They have people who rely on them both in their families and at work, so they feel a lot of pressure and don't want to let anyone down. Going to formal therapy might add to the pressure of dissapointing yet another person if they don't see results. Men also have fragile egos and don't want a "shrink" to judge them (in the words of one of my customers who told me about his struggles with PTSD). Instead men will interact with a sex worker because then he is trust in a fantasy and can not only forget his problems but also he can unload his problems to someone who isn't so involved in his real life. Paying a sex worker to talk about your problems has less concequences and follow through then formal therapy. There is also a bit of a supiroirty complex at play here. Of course men don't have an issue dumping their tales of woe onto us sex workers because atleast they're better than us right? I had a customer actually tell me that unloading his mental health issues on me made him felt better because at least he wasn't in my position in life. Uhhhhhh excuse me sir? Fincially and mentally stable? But I digress.

As a webcam model I've gotten hundreads of customers (some are regulars), who come in my chat and talk about their mental health struggles. It takes a toll on me sometimes becuase I am very sensitive and some of these men are really going through it in life. I've had men talk to me about their manic bipolar depression, their drug abuse, their struggles with their sexualty, struggles with their marriages, PTSD from wartime, some talk about a fetish they're ashamed of, some have opened up to me about their struggles of sexual abuse they've suffered, and some I've had to talk off a ledge because they were suicidal. It's heart breaking because I know in my current position I can't actually help them. It's a huge reason I want to become a therapist because I want to figure out how to break the mental health stigma for men and get them the therapy they desperately need and deserve. It's not your job to have the professional answers for these men, but be prepared from time to time to provide some companionship. I think this topic can go deeper and I would like to explore more in a separte blog post or a future podcast episode.

You have to deal with the internet being the internet 

Do I even have to say it? The internet is full of TROLLS. Feel free to tap the highlight reel on my Instagram labed "Men of SM" to get a taste of the trolls I have to deal with on a regualr basis. There are dudes who really take the time to make an account on Streamate, and this involves adding your credit card information, just to come online and bully women they would have zero shot with in real life. Really think about how outrageous that is. Do you know how many online purchases I didn't follow through with because I was too lazy to get up and get my credit card sitting across the room? Always have that in the back of your mind next time some dipshit

man tells you how "UgLy" you are.

Never take anything personal on cam. The hate you'll receive on cam always has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. These dudes online who try and insult you or bring you down are looking for a reaction. Do not give it to them, block them, don't respond, and continue being a bad bitch. There are some days where the hate will be overwelming and on those days its OK to log out and take a break. You come first and if you're getting flustered and upset, take a step back. The good news is, when there is one pathetic troll in your chat there will be 10 members there who love and adore you so flock to them.

If you hate it .... JUST QUIT 

My therapist gave me this tid bit of wisdom when I was going through some mental health struggles at work myself. She said "there is big difference between the stripper who clearly hates dancing and acts victomized by her job, and the stripper who is empowered by her sexuality and takes charge of the stage". That holds true in our realm of sex work as well, and really, all other industries in society. If I'm at a resturaunt and the waiter is bothered to take my order it ruins my experience as a customer. Same goes for webcamming. If you sit online and have a sour attitude it shows customers how much you hate being there. You'll make no money, which will perpetuate the narrative that "camming sucks", and it will be a huge waste of time for you. If you try it and find it's not for you just quit. it's not for everyone, and that is ok.

Mental health resources worth checking out 

I have found personally that going to therapy has immensly changed my life and my perspectives about my job. I highly suggest if you are a senstive and emotional person like me, you should find a therapist. Camming is a lonely job and unless you have others within the community to talk with it can feel isolating. Camming also desesitizes you, and sometimes the things we want to talk about will shock others who are unfamiliar to the industry. My friends outside this industry have a hard time understanding my work. Therefore, therapy is a great option because I'm able to unload in a safe enviornment.

I know therapy can be expensive and not everyone has access to such services. However, I want to introduce Pineapple Support. From their website pineapplesupport.org "Pineapple support provides 24/7 online, emotional support as well as free and subsidized professional therapy and advice to all performers and producers who have been active in the adult online industry". I genuinely support their cause and I have seen nothing else like it. They have therapist from all over the United States (and now internationally) who are well educated, trained, and are interested in human sexuality. They not only provide therapy to sex workers, but they also focus on LGBTQ+ focussed therapy, sexual trauma support and HIV support. Please if you are even a little interested go to their website to learn more. NOT SPONSORED.

I would also like to extend myself as a resource. One of my goals with this blog and the podcast is to create a safe space for sex workers. So please, if you need to get something off your chest about your stream, want to share a story with me, or if you need help finding resources (therapy connections, books to read, advice, etc) do not hesitate to contact me.

Thanks for reading!

Follow me on:

Streamate: streamate.com/cam/stassie_jones if you don't have an account make one with my referral link Stassie_jones.cammodels.com

Follow Pineapple Support on:

Instagram: @pineappleysw

Pineapplesupport.org

Graphic Design Credit:

@enjoy_whileitlasts on Instagram