I Became The Mermaid I Always Wanted To Be

One question I get a lot is: "How did you become a cam girl?".

I am the type of person that has always 'rode the wave' of life. I am a very open minded and carefree person. I like to live my life knowing and believing that everything is going to be ok, so I just relax and ride the wave. That might sound a bit naive and even like a passive way of living, however, it's simply my demeanor. 'Riding the wave' has taught me adaptability, flexibility, and most importantly grit. Because of this internal philosophy, throughout my childhood I never gave too much thought about the what the future would hold for me as an adult. Even as a younger girl I knew I wanted to enjoy my youth and I worry about adult matters later. I just rode the wave, and enjoyed being a kid. If someone asked me as a child, and even into middle school and high school, "What do you want to be when you grow up?", I would sincerely tell them, "I want to be a mermaid". As a child it was the honest truth. I wanted to become this mythical and beautiful being, with freedom to explore the world, befriend the sea life, and showing off my magnificent tail. As I got older I would say it more as a joke to deflect from the major fact that I myself didn't know what I wanted with my life.

So how did I become a cam girl? Well I graduated high school and entered my undergrad still with the slightest idea of what I wanted to do with my life. I started college because that was just what you do, and I'm 'riding the wave'. At the time I was working a seasonal position at a luxury hotel, I joined a sorority, and hastily moved into an apartment with another sister. My roommate was the one who introduced me to webcamming. With my seasonal position coming to an end, I was looking for jobs and I started to notice the working habits of my roommate. She worked late into the night, had an impressive amount of disposable income, and went to work with a full face of make up but also sweat pants? I had to know how she was making so much money. I pleaded with her to share her secret. She couldn't explain her job to me and said it was better if she showed me instead. Soon there after, she brought me to a studio discreetly tucked away behind a sketchy and transient apartment complex. The building was nothing special but when we entered I was transported to a lush fantasy land. The halls where hand painted and decorated with various lights and portraits of women in erotic positions. Down the halls I peeked into the various rooms and each was a different fake bedroom. I entered the office of the building to discuss what this mystery job was. It's important to note at the time I was 18, very malleable, not very confident in my self, and easily manipulated. I was told this job was basically a promotional modeling gig (RED FLAG FOR ANY NEW MODELS IF THEY CAN'T BE REAL WITH YOU, YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THERE). I was told I would get paid out daily, and I could make up to $300 a day. Which, I'm laughing about now because at the time I remembering thinking to myself "wow that's a lot of money", compared to what I make now but I digress. I didn't give it much thought considering I needed a job, I was flattered that I would 'be a model', and so I signed paperwork right away.

The first day was when I realized it was webcam modeling. I arrived and was placed into a room, the office manager gave me a 10 minuet tutorial on how to run the features of the website and then said to me, "You don't have to do everything they ask but you won't make much money that way.... Well good luck!" and she left me alone. So with no training or detailed explanations, I begin to stream completely blind taking on the various requests of live customers. I don't remember feeling scared or nervous but I do remember things happening very fast, too fast to think. Someone would tip me to show my tits or show my ass and I would just do it because, well, that's what you do I guess. This marked the beginning of the first half of my cam career (it lasted about 2 years). I like to call it the toxic half of my career. The first day really set the stage for the rest of those 2 years. I unfortunately let the customers rule over me. However, we will go more into debt another time about the toxic half.

Fast forward to now. I am educated in the industry, exceptionally experienced, bullet proof to the online hate, and supremely confident in myself. I rule my chatroom, my show, and my brand. I became the mermaid I always wanted to be (or a siren more or less). I did became this beautiful being inside and out, who explores human sexuality, I meet sex positive allies from all over the world, and uses my style, wit, charm to lure men into shows and 'shipwreck' them and their bank accounts.

As a child being a mermaid meant having freedom. As a cam model I have given myself financial freedom, which is the only form of freedom you can give yourself in this world especially as a women. If I met my childhood self or even my high school self, I know I would feel reassured that everything turned out good. Sometimes in life you can't plan and you just have to ride the wave, you never know where it can take you. I'm glad I ended up here, it's an empowering position. I hope you the reader can be reminded about your wildest childhood fantasy and I hope you also become the mermaid you always wanted to be.

Thank you for reading!

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